WHAT will you do on new year's eve and with WHOM will you spend it?! Until last year I've always kept a close eye on my own NY plans, out of fear that "forgetting" this immortal day would somehow convey a message of pitty towards your peers, which in turn is a polite way of saying I walked around all day doing groceries I didn't really need, and ended the afternoon in search of a new tea infuser I actually already had.
Somehow it just didn't have that usual "I fuck Christians" feeling to it...but hey, I've enjoyed a myriad of socially acceptable NY's shaking my buttocks in the presence of Belgium's most succesful dragqueens and cabaret performers. Based on that premise I simply made sure I had enough visual entertainment to endure the clock until at least 00.01.
The standard questions will be asked of course (I'm thinking about the workplace in particular), thus standard replies will be given...to put theory into practice:
"so how did you celebrate New Year's eve?"
"I had chardonnay with friends and we went to a party afterwards...you?"
"the same!"
So I am forced to wonder: if I cannot say what I mean, why do I open my mouth in an effort to give a blank response that doesn't even correspond with the truth. And is the truth in fact something that I have never truly factored in when it comes to my vision on ethics and morals?
Perhaps truth is in fact something to be persued in life, but the sad "truth" is that people like me cannot afford the truth as it is, and have to make our own. The most puzzling part is that I have become so good at it that I don't even notice it anymore, and view it as the ONLY truth...which can go from "I spent 20€ on a dvd(contrary to the true 15€)" to "I did not wear your high heels for more than 17 minutes (contrary to the true 17 hours).
On a more experimental note: after the usual groceries with good altruistic B., I ordered an HIV self-test kit at the pharmacist...B. of course did not believe me and assumed I was simply being drunk with I-want-that-new-creativeZEN-mp3player fever, only to hear soon after that the blonde behind the counter stated "yes sir, you can pick up your kit next thursday". The moderate feeling of joy I felt almost made me forget the text message T. sent me a few hours afterwards...I still can't figure out whether he sent the message to all of his "apostels" or if it was his intention to evoke some kind of reaction from my side...the third option would be the most logical one...namely that he is still trying to make himself believe that he never wants to hurt people by doing what he does. Either way, the e-mail I got from my man a few minutes later made me lose interest in playing T.'s odds...in the end 2008 would matter even less to him than I would to me. So to quote a muse of mine: "some guys think they're the flu, while they're just...hatchoo."
The trip to the pharmacy made me realize that it never ceases to amaze me how scholars insist on propagating the global village theory to tiresome length, while they never emphasize the HIV selftest kit. Somehow the academic world remains wavering when it comes to this highly relevant piece of technology. Even the targetted consumers (well..."us") act awfully cloak & dagger around it, if not completely oblivious.
Perhaps instead of writing how a Mcdonalds in Kenya must be held accountable for a man who shot himself in Colorado and a Jihad warrior renouncing his faith, we should first take notice of the smaller things hidden in the corners of everyday life...and this time I'm not talking about a white orchid blossoming through the cracks of a pavement in Ghent...
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